


Regrets

by amycooper



Category: Star Trek: Discovery
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s02e13-14 Such Sweet Sorrow Parts 1-2, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-14 16:33:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18951835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amycooper/pseuds/amycooper
Summary: After the crisis of Such Sweet Sorrow is over, Hugh and Tilly talk about Paul in sickbay.





	Regrets

“Ohmygodohmygodhmygod-” Tilly ran at full speed to sickbay.  With the battle over and released from duty, she went at a full sprint to sickbay, uncertain if her mentor and friend was even still alive.  She left him alone, perhaps as he lay dying. 

"Pleasebealivepleasebealivepleasebealive-oh." She pulled up short when, upon entering sickbay, she nearly ran into Hugh.  “Dr. Culber.  I didn’t know, I mean I thought-but Stamets said that you-”

Hugh held up a hand.  “I transferred back.”

Tilly looked between Dr. Culber and Stamets, who lay unnervingly still and quiet on the biobed, then back to Dr. Culber.  Stamets was very, very still.  "Is he still alive?" She asked in a quiet voice.

"Yes," Hugh smiled warmly, walking her closer to the astromycologist. 

“I just, I felt bad.  I mean, I didn’t want to leave him alone alone.   But I’m glad you were here and he was with you-No!  I mean, not with you with you because I know you two aren’t with so much you know anymore but um-”

“We made up.” Dr. Culber said, clasping Stamets’ hand.  “I think,” he added quietly.  There was no way of really knowing if Paul remembered their brief conversation as he was putting him under.

“Oh! That’s good!” She took another hesitant step towards the biobed.  Even when he was half in the myclium network he wasn’t so utterly still.  “He’s going to be okay, right?”

“It’s going to take a some time, but yes, he’ll recovery,” Hugh said.  

The two were quiet for a moment, in a sickbay still full of motion.  Hugh’s sickbay whites were still stained with blood, some Paul’s, some belonging to others.  TIlly’s hair was disheveled and her face dirty.

“I had to leave him.” Tilly said in a small voice.

“I know he’ll understand.”

Tilly inched forward again, until finally she was standing next to Stamets.

“He needed me.  And I left.”

“Tilly, you had your duty.  Besides, if anyone is guilty of not being there when Paul needed someone, it isn’t you.”

Tilly turned to Hugh, who stroked the back of Paul’s hand in slow soothing circular motions, which belay the tension in his face.  She blinked at him.

“I was just so…”  Hugh sighed.

“So what?”

“I don’t know how to explain it.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“When I came back I just…I couldn’t feel anything.  Not pain, not love, not anything.  It was unnerving.  And I just couldn’t be what Paul wanted.  So I pushed him away.”

“I don’t think he wanted you to be anything.  He just wanted you.”

“I didn’t know who that was, not then.  To be honest, I’m still learning now.  It took me almost losing him forever to realize that part of me was being part of an us, with him.”  Hugh raised the hand he was stroking and gave it a gentle kiss.  

Stamets huffed, startling both of them.

“Paul!” “Sir!”

Paul cracked his eyes open, they closed again almost immediately.  He blinked a few times, then rasped, “You two are both horrible.”

“Were you eavesdropping this whole time?” Hugh scolded though he was beaming brightly.

“Hm,” Paul hummed.  “No more guilt.”

“Only if you go back to sleep Paul.  You need to rest.”

“Deal.”


End file.
